There was a time, not too long ago, where I gave up writing about movies.
I can’t remember exactly which title it was that I stared in the face and said, “I can’t do this any longer,” but I believe it was some sequel to some already terrible franchise.
I had been at this movie review thing for almost a decade and as one might expect, after a few years the excitement of it all slowly turned to drudgery. I knew the characters, the beats, the monologues. Occasionally some screenwriter or director would work in a surprise, but for the most part, all the storytelling formulas I’d learned about in college were spot-on. I could almost bake a cake based on the timing of a character’s introduction, or when a plotline would turn to crisis.
So, I gave it up. I had lost my love for it all and even worse, I had lost my love for movies.
It was months after I quit writing reviews before I purchased another movie ticket, and even longer before I found myself enjoying the experience.
But over time it did happen.
When I was allowed to turn my brain off and just submit to the spectacle of Hollywood’s magic, I started remembering why I was so interested in film in the first place.
In the interest of time, I’m going to jump ahead here because this is already a very long intro for the review of a film I have yet to mention. But to sum-up, when I did come back to movie reviews, I decided I’d only write about projects that actually caught my interest. No more hitting the press screenings for “The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature.” To give a movie its best chance at good publicity, I couldn’t walk into a darkened theater with a grumpy attitude.
Which brings us to “It” – a movie where I walked into the press screening with an unusually grumpy attitude.
My one rule was broken because of a long an uninteresting story. But, let’s just say, at the end of the day I have never enjoyed horror movies. I don’t find them scary, I can never suspend reality enough to care, and gore is gross. Sitting through 135 minutes of my least favorite genre was exactly what I swore off when I left the first time, yet there I was watching some killer clown torment children while I wondered how I was going to give “It” an honest review.
I’ve since given up on such a noble endeavor. Instead, I’m just going to call this what it is: a review of Stephen King’s ‘It’ by someone who really didn’t want to see it
The premise
Have you ever seen a horror movie? If so just move along. If you haven’t, fine, let’s just get through this.
There is a really scary clown monster. Said-scary clown monster feeds on fear, and as it turns out, kids are usually more afraid than grown-ups. Soon enough, children start disappearing and town residents do what any thinking individuals would do when kids go missing — they put up missing posters and forget about their sons and daughters.
That is until we meet our protagonists, who happen to be a group of kids brave enough to look for answers. As these brave kids peel back the layers of an unspoken mystery, they uncover a dark history, learn to face their fears, and ultimately confront the monster terrorizing their town.
No, I am not yawning and no, you have not seen this plot before with a different monster. The clown, you see, feeds on fear. That is abstract. The fear-monster-clown is entirely original and you’re a terrible person for thinking of 15 other movies with exactly the same plot. And no, Monster’s, Inc. doesn’t count because the fear is only captured to energize monster cities and in the end, they all find a way to get along.
The kids
I usually avoid rottentomatoes before putting out a review, but in this case, my curiosity concerning my bad attitude got the better of me.
As it turns out, when I started writing this review the movie was enjoying a 90% fresh score which means, 90% of my fellow-critics think I’m a moron.
This leaves me scratching my head a bit. And I get it, morons do that. But “It” is not a scary movie. It might flirt with creepy occasionally, and it does attempt to make audiences jump from time-to-time, but even the Coulrophobe sitting next to me later confessed he was rarely even nervous.
So, if I had to guess at why critics are swooning for this very, very generic horror movie, it’s because they connected with the kids.
Would you like to know if you will connect the with the kids from “It?” Did you like the kids from “Goonies,” “The Monster Squad,” “Stand by Me” and “Stranger Things” but all the while found yourself wishing these movies included Molly Ringwald? Then you too will love the kids from “It.”
The 80’s
I am kind of a product of the 80’s, though much more so the 90’s.
I do love me some nostalgia and am usually a sucker for anything that makes me think back on my childhood fondly.
Still, there’s a point where too much nostalgia becomes gimmicky and if you’re curious about that line, I suggest seeing “It” this weekend. Kids riding their bikes up a street with John Williamsy music playing behind them was super neat for a while, but the market for like-scenes is already oversaturated.
You know how every ten years vampires are cool? Some book like “Interview with a Vampire” or “Twilight” will come out and make a bajillion dollars and then hundreds of knock-offs try to ride the fad before audiences turn their noses up at sharp-toothed blood suckers?
If we apply those same rules to the 80’s, “Stranger Things” was “Interview” and “It” is like “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.”
The haunted house
Have you ever been to one of those haunted houses that pop up around Halloween time?
If you haven’t, they’re all basically a series of themed rooms with hiding places for costumed volunteers to jump out at you when you least expect it.
“It” is the longest haunted house you will ever endure.
The kids of the movie continually return to a house where each room has its own theme and director Andy Muschietti tries to find the perfect time to scare audiences. “It” is less effective than a traditional Halloween houses however, since as I just mentioned, it’s overly long. But even if it were a quick, action packed ride, the beats are so familiar there’s no surprise to be had.
If you love the seasonal attractions, you might find a soft place in your heart for “It,” but your money would probably be better spent on a brick and mortar experience.
Conclusion
I should note before I wrap this all up that I attended the press screening with three other critics. Of them, I was the only one who really disliked the movie. Was my bad attitude a factor? Almost definitely. But, that doesn’t change the fact that the 80’s theme is already overdone, “It” relies on totally recycled material, and this isn’t an especially scary movie.
Is there an audience for “It?” Sure. It’s Halloween time. People like to tell other people they’re afraid of clowns, and as far as horror movies go, this one had a bigger budget than most.
But if you’re that person who only says you hate clowns because everyone else says they hate clowns, or horror isn’t your number one all-time favorite genre, I doubt you’ll regret not paying theater prices for “It.”
If in the future however, you’ve planned an entire day of weeding only to find it’s raining that Saturday and “It” happens to be an option on a streaming service you’re already paying for, give it ten minutes. You might be like 90% of all critics or the Coulrophobe sitting next to me.
In this, our third episode of the Halloween Place podcast, we chat with Pedal Provo’s Derek Jacobs about the haunted side of Utah County.
Halloween starts the holiday season off with beautiful weather, vivid foliage, and a great selection of cinematic classics.
To some, it’s a time to turn out the lights and watch movies that will ruin a perfectly good night’s sleep. To others, it’s simply an evening to celebrate autumn’s wonderment while sipping a warm cup of hot chocolate and enjoying a nostalgic family-favorite.
But wherever you fall in the spectrum of movie preferences, it’s hard to argue that there’s a better night of the year to enjoy a good film. And for those of you looking for a few suggestions, here are five mostly family-friendly films for your consideration.
5: It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown
Let’s get this one out of the way. The animation is simple, the colors are laughably dated, and if by chance it was excluded from this list there’d be 120 comments about how this article missed the most beloved Halloween special of all time.
So why do we love it? Who knows? But every year, people snuggle up to this classic with or without children present. Everything from Snoopy’s Red Baron battle to Charlie Brown getting yet another rock makes Halloween a little better. In fact, to some Charles M. Schulz fans, it’s simply not Halloween without it.
4: Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Wallace & Gromit fans were a little surprised at the spooky direction “Were-Rabbit” took our favorite, inventive protagonists. But let’s be honest, nothing was creepier than the evil chicken/penguin character from “Wrong Trousers.” And while on the subject, that robot-dog thing that was trying to catch Shaun the Sheep? Very unsettling.
In fact, while “Curse of the Were-Rabbit” is the obvious spooky choice from the series, feel free to just have a Wallace & Gromit film festival on Halloween night. They’re all great, and they all have their moments of creepy-goodness.
3: Monster Squad
“Monster Squad” is a little known treasure that has a very devout group of followers. Two years after the success of “Goonies,” director Fred Dekker gave us his own misfit-kid adventure with humor, tone, and potty-language similar to the 1985 Richard Donner classic.
So how do you top a bunch of kids searching for a lost pirate treasure so well guarded that even Chester Copperpot couldn’t find it? You have them take on every classic monster from the Universal collection. “Monster Squad” is a really great blend of classic horror and 80’s camp, but also might be a bit scary and edgy for younger kids.
If you’re worried about the content, you can also catch another team of unlikely heroes battling the Universal monsters in “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.”
2: Ghostbusters
There’s a reason Hollywood is moving forward with “Ghostbusters 3,” and it’s not “Ghostbusters 2.” The original “Ghostbusters” was so clever, so quotable, and so iconic, that not even the painful sequel could derail public interest in another proton pack adventure.
If you’re looking for a Halloween staple this year, there are few effects-driven movies that have aged as well as “Ghostbusters.” It’s funny, a little scary and showcases a classic cast doing some of their finest ensemble work.
At the very least, it might help your kids understand that weird smirk you get every time someone says, “Who you gonna call?”
1: The Nightmare Before Christmas
For those of you who officially start the holiday season on October 31st, this is a perfect film. While unapologetic in its adoration for Halloween, “Nightmare” spins one of the most unusual Christmas tales ever set to celluloid. The music is beautiful, the animation is mezmerizing, and every year more and more people fall in love with it.
Until recently, you could catch Jack Skellington and his ghostly dog Zero on the big screen every Halloween season. This year however, Disney has decided to release a threee-disc combo set of the film, which includes a copy of the 3D transfer on Blu-ray 3D.
We’ve all seen these lists.
Every Halloween we get some catalog of either family favorites like “Hocus Pocus,” “Nightmare Before Christmas” and “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” or an article full of horror/slasher movies easily found under the “Horror” link of your streaming service of choice.
This Halloween, while readily admitting Jack and Sally will have plenty of screen time at our house, I thought we’d look at some movies not traditionally classified as Halloween films, or possibly, classics we often overlook.
All of these movies are streaming on either Netflix or Amazon Prime, and in case you’re missing a more traditional list, I’ve even attached a few classics at the end for your convenience.
Troll Hunter (Netflix, Amazon Prime)
Whether this is the first time you’re hearing about the 2011 mockumentary or “Troll Hunter” is one of those movies you’ve passed by a thousand times on Netflix but never stopped to appreciate, Halloween might be the perfect time to give this found-footage Norwegian film a chance.
If you can put your brain on the shelf, “Troll Hunter” might actually scare you. If you can’t, it’s still pretty funny.
“Troll Hunter” might also be the perfect movie to enjoy while passing out candy since its slow pace allows for getting up to answer the door now and again.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Netflix 1978, Prime 1956)
Depending on who you stream with will dictate your “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” experience.
On Amazon Prime, you get the pod people who started it all. Ready to compliment anyone’s classic Halloween event, the original “Body Snatchers” is perfect for those of us who still enjoy listening to Orson Welles’ “War of the Worlds” and refuse to acknowledge “The Day the Earth Stood Still” was ever given a Keanu Reeves makeover.
On the other hand, Netflix subscribers get the 1978 update — a film often brought up during remakes-done-right conversations.
Either way, an evening with the “Body Snatchers” could be a great way to drift into the late hours of All Hallow’s Eve.
Young Sherlock Holmes (Netflix, Amazon Prime)
I won’t lie to you, this isn’t a film that has aged well. However, there’s still a dark, brooding landscape here that could be a fun family watch as we get closer to Halloween.
The Steven Spielberg, Chris Columbus and Barry Levinson project enjoys a fun script and an under-appreciated score while asking the question: What was Sherlock Holmes like before he was Sherlock Holmes?
Don’t be overcritical and you’ll have a good time with this one. And who knows, maybe the little ones in your life will be able to enjoy it as much as their parents did when they were kids.
The Woman in Black (Amazon Prime)
This is a film that got mixed reviews, and even divided the crew of the Flix Junkies podcast. So while it’s probably safe to say not everyone who takes the time to watch “The Woman in Black” is going to love it, I whole heartedly recommend it for its Tim Burton color palette and rich, Edgar Alan Poe-inspired setting.
There’s a pretty good chance you’ll be able to sit back and enjoy this one as a classic ghost story. But even if you find yourself bored with where the movie’s going, keep it playing in the background while you get ready for trick or treaters because it’s kind of a perfect Halloween screensaver for your TV.
Clue (Netflix, Amazon Prime)
No ghosts or goblins, but definitely … murder.
While “Clue” may not be a traditional Halloween movie, it definitely embraces the killer-on-the-lose-in-a-creepy mansion vibe so appropriate for the holiday.
Still funny, clever and a shining example of how to balance a great ensemble cast — if you can’t love “Clue” for its comedic craft, you may want to give it a watch for its many costume ideas.
Traditional Halloween Picks — Streaming
Addams Family (Netflix)
The Addams Family Values (Amazon Prime)
The Nightmare Before Christmas (Netflix)
Curious George: A Halloween Boo Fest (Netflix)
Nosferatu (Netflix, Amazon Prime)
The Twilight Zone (Netflix, Amazon Prime)
World War Z (Netflix, Amazon Prime)
The Munsters (Netflix)
Dreamworks Spooky Stories (Netflix)
Dreamworks Spooky Stories: Volume 2 (Netflix)
Scared Shrekless (Netflix)
Halloween night is the perfect time to fire up some spooky melodrama as you wait for adorable candy-collectors to knock on your door.
Whether you’re turning down the lights and listening to classic radio shows like “The War of the Worlds” or “I Love a Mystery,” or streaming through a season of “The Twilight Zone,” Halloween is best served with a side of over-the-top acting, shoestring budgets and ham-drenched dialogue.
Film fans have a large library to choose from when considering such criteria, so narrowing down a subject for our Halloween Retro Review wasn’t exactly easy. But after some debate, and a few games of Rock-paper-scissors, we believe we’ve arrived at the perfect recommendation.
This October 31st, rollout your projectors or simply log into Amazon Prime, and celebrate the year’s spookiest night with the original 1956 “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”
The premise
“Invasion of the Body Snatchers” is one of those classics that even though you’ve heard the name a million times, you may have never taken the time to find out what it’s actually about. If you’re that person, it might be best to skip this section. “Body Snatchers” is most fun when you’re discovering the secrets of Santa Mira, California, with the film’s characters.
It’s not that the name doesn’t strongly suggest where the story’s headed, but body snatcher could mean any number of things — like, maybe it’s a story about kidnappers or grave robbers. If you’re still reading, however, that probably means you either know or would actually like to know. So fine: It’s about aliens. But keep in mind, the less you know about this movie the better.
The history
“Invasion of the Body Snatchers” is a film that comes up a lot in film history courses, and for good reason. The film is currently considered the 9th best science fiction movie of all time according to the American Film Institute and Time nagazine has it listed as one of the best 100 films ever made.
As far as pop culture goes, this is the movie that gave meaning to the phrase “pod people.” Forget the critical accolades, you need to see this movie if only to better understand the “pod people” reference.
Melodrama
“Body Snatchers” is so beautifully melodramatic. From its sweeping orchestral opening to the closeups of characters screaming into the camera, you can practically hear director Don Siegel yelling from behind the camera, “Bigger! Act bigger!”
The dialogue is fast and slick, while in no way resembling natural conversation — and yes, this is all absolutely a good thing.
You enjoy “Body Snatchers” in the same way you enjoy going to a nickelcade. Sure you can play flashier video games on your home console, but air hockey and Ms. Pacman are still the games that genuinely make you smile.
The concept
In the spirit of great late-night science fiction television, the concept is everything in “Body Snatchers” — and it’s a concept that will get inside your head.
There isn’t really a “jump moment” in the movie, but you’ll be thinking about plausible alien invasions long after your Halloween viewing. As Dr. Miles Bennell (Kevin McCarthy) gets closer and closer to uncovering the secrets of his home town, you’ll be asking yourself how mankind could ever counter or even detect such a simple invasion strategy. Then you’ll wonder if we haven’t already lost to such an attack. Then, you might even wonder if you’re an alien watching a movie about aliens taking over humans that look just like you.
Conclusion
There are other fun classics out there to consider on Halloween, but “Body Snatchers” is unique because of its ability to still genuinely creep out modern audiences.
If you realize going in that “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” is like a really long and amazing episode of “The Twilight Zone,” you’re going to love it. It’s paced perfectly for small interruptions as you get up to answer the door throughout the evening, and as an added bonus, one of its stars is none other than Carolyn Jones, who also played Morticia Addams.
We’re fairly confident you’ll love “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” and believe it will be a perfect addition to your Halloween festivities. However, if we’re wrong and you hate it, there’s still a consolation prize for viewers. Next time you find yourself without a costume on Halloween, you can simply tell people you’re a pod-person version of yourself. You’re welcome.
